Things my 4 to 5 year old has seriously wished for:
“I want to walk home from daycare today” (20 miles)
“I want a blue house” (it’s green).
“I wish you were dead” (yup, that hurt a bit).
“I wish I could eat ice cream for every meal” (Amen!)
“I wish I could never have to sleep” (Then he sleeps for 12 hours before waking up on his own)
“I wish I owned every toy ever… except baby toys” (and he has far too many already)
“I wish I could destroy all the cars in the world so we could get home faster” (I’m almost on board with this one)
“I don’t ever want to eat another vegetable again!”
“I want to be a garbage truck”
I haven’t wasted one second… not even a fraction of one second… legitimately pondering any one of these requests. Not even a little. To say that they are absurd is an understatement. And to the 5 year old, he would actually attempt these because he lacks wisdom and life lessons to understand how little he has thought out and prepared for such ludicrous considerations.
If I had let him, he would have actually opened the car door and attempted to walk home… for about 5 minutes until he realized he didn’t know the direction, he didn’t understand the distance, and he didn’t calculate the danger. All things I could warn him about, but he would ignore because his mind can’t process them. Not yet. Some day he will be able to, but right now his cognitive processes are growing and maturing to get him to that point.
For now, I get a laugh. And, sometimes a tear at the things he will claim he wants. I wonder how God feels when we ask for things? Spouses that we aren’t ready for… oh, but we just ‘KNOW’ that we are! Promotions we haven’t thought through… but we are convinced we deserve! Relationships that aren’t healthy, money that we can’t manage, possessions that have no meaning, healing that hasn’t taught us anything yet… Do you think God laughs? Or is it just tears?
We are mere children in terms of understanding God and His will for us. How could we possibly understand how our desires intersect with the whole of everything else in the world? It hurts to tell those cute little angels that they can’t have a third desert… but we love them enough to be the ‘bad guy’ sometimes. Can we even comprehend how much God loves us?
It’s hard, but I’m trying to work on my appreciation for all things… even the things I don’t like. When God says, ‘yes’, I’m very thankful. When He says, ‘No’, I try to be even more thankful. What did He prevent? What did He just save me from? What would have happened if I ran out into that street blindly expecting happiness and fun?
Thank you, God, for ‘No’s’. Thank you for boundaries. Thank you for what seems like pain but turns out to be growth. Thank you for loneliness that shapes and lacking that produces abundance later. Thank you for your forsaken Son, who ‘lost’ for an eternal victory.