‘Civilized Dialog’ Record Broken

Guinness World Records has reported that after thousands of years, the world record for dialogue amongst humanity has been officially broken.

Friday, July 24th 2020 marks the end of the centuries old streak of being able to communicate, sometimes even oppositionally, with fellow mankind.

At precisely 6:02 p.m. a tweet was released seemingly innocent in its claims that skunks will not stink in heaven. After a few retweets and “lol‘s” a discussion began on Facebook. The core response being that God made skunks “and all of their skunkiness” and to remove the smell post-life would indicate a mistake.

This response was not received well and a flurry of escalating tweets, memes, gifs, and posts were made that clearly established a battle line over the conflicting views.

Pouring into Youtube, Parler, Instagram, and even mainstream news outlets, the protesting is believed to have begun when CNN launched a headline titled, “This Stinks!”.

Celebrities have taken sides in the debate with former voice actor of Pepe Le Pew, Eric Bauza, taking offense at the rhetoric being hurled by so many who don’t know or understand the soul’s of the potent creatures. Meanwhile animators have created newer renditions of some of the classic cartoons where he does not smell at all, claiming that they never meant to offend anyone or anything having scent glands.

Now that the lengthy record has been put in the books and all rational dialogue has come to an end, it is speculated whether anyone will have the nerve to attempt a new record at some point in the future.

An opinion piece in the Times later pondered, “We all knew it was coming, the end of civilized dialog certainly has its place in our history, but we never knew which issue would be our last. Now knowing what we know, should we have picked a different hill to die on?”

Answering an anonymous survey, below are some of the responses to the question, ‘do you think we will begin an attempt to break the newly acquired record?’:

“If there is another opinion out there, It’s wrong! So why bother?”

“Sure, I’m open to discussion… as soon as they change their views!”

“This was the final straw, if we can tell God what He can and can’t do with stinky critters, we have no hope”.

As that record fell, a new era has begun. We aren’t sure what the record is for refusal to logically debate, engage in ignorant hate, severe intolerance, and division by opinion… but we think we can beat it.


Image by Vicki Roberts from Pixabay

The Bible: Written as We Sometimes Live

I can do some reasonable things through Christ.

The LORD is my shepherd, I need lots of stuff.  He makes me lie down but I’d rather stand, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He forces me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear everything, for I don’t see you; your rod and your staff, they neglect me. You prepare a table before me surrounded by my enemies.  You dump oil on my head; my cup overflows so I cannot drink.  Surely your goodness and love will find me one day, and I will hopefully dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

But the fruit of the Spirit is correction, pride, winning, entitlement, strength, ego, self-preservation, unquestioning, social media; against such things there is no law.

He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, It’s not really your fault anymore so… go nuts!

Therefore confess your sins to no one and pray in solitude so that no one will find out. The prayer of a lonely person is powerful and effective.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you a long list of rules that aren’t cool.

Rejoice when you can,  pray when you need something,  give thanks if you got what you wanted.

Trust in the LORD with all your brain and lean heavily on your own understanding

Conform to the patterns of this world, be transformed by the renewing of your instincts.

Be anxious about everything, and in everything, by prayer and petition, with urgency, present your lists to God.

Therefore go and make disciples by donating to missionaries.

for all of those people have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you things, promotions, relationships… like a genie.

By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you leave each other alone and refrain from sharing God publicly.

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There are certainly more.  This is why I love communion each Sunday.  It forces inner reflection.  We have to know who we are and when we get disconnected from the message.  Sometimes its minor.  It starts off small.  But if we aren’t careful, We are claiming Christ in our minds and screaming “I don’t know the man”(Matt:26:72)  with everything else.  I pray a different look at the words will spark a renewal in you.